If you have more than one child, you’re bound to have some sibling rivalry. It’s very hard for children to have to share us. In fact, when a younger sibling is born, virtually all children worry that they aren’t good enough , why else would their parents have gotten a newer, younger, model?
Conflict is a part of every human relationship,
like other humans who live together, even the most loving siblings have bad days and conflicts. Kids learn from fighting with each other how to express their needs and wants, they don’t have the perspective to know it’s not necessarily the other person’s fault, or the skills to work out differences but sibling conflict is normal and to be expected.
Sibling rivalry includes the the traits like, individual temperaments, role models and evolving needs. Children that believe they are getting unequal amounts of attention, discipline and responsiveness can result in feelings of inequality. Sibling rivalry is often the result of jealousy or attempts to be a parent’s favourite.
Parents often do things that fuel sibling rivalry,
•by comparing siblings
•by not giving each child one on one attention •encouraging siblings to tell on each other
•by praising one child more than the other
•by blaming the older child
• parents often have unrealistic expectations of how well their children should get along •sometimes parents are quick to intervene when a quarrel breaks out.
In addition to sibling rivalry, kids can have personality clashes, or clashes because they’re different ages and want different things, or because they’re close in age and want the same things.
TIPS TO PREVENT SIBLING RIVALRY
There are certain smart parenting tips, which can prevent all sibling fights and your children can be friends for life, and your parenting can prevent and even transform sibling tensions.
• One thing parents shouldn’t do is to promote an unhealthy rivalry or play favourites depending on which child you happen to like most at the time. This will definitely cause some bitter feelings, distrust and could easily lead future problems with your family. Problems that could be very disastrous.
• Set boundaries on the behavior or others, and problem-solve to find solutions that work for both people. Siblings often want to play together, but it takes skill and patience when they’re different ages.
• Parents want the bickering, teasing, aggression and cries of “no fair” to end. But one of the best ways to dial up sibling love is not to squash conflicts, but to learn how to use them.
• It’s a knee-jerk reaction for many parents to insist siblings be nice to each other, and try to smooth over tricky or unpleasant feelings. But siblings can feel love, anger, frustration and connection to each other all within the same day. Accept the negative feelings without judgment. The warm, loving ones will naturally resurface.
•When voices start to rise and conflict is escalating, those are signs you may need to step in. If you feel as if your kids’ relationship is bordering on emotional or physical abuse, it’s important to intervene quickly and be ready to separate them if necessary.
• One of the biggest things parents have to keep in mind is that of unique traits and talents among their children. It’s natural for kids to fight, argue and compete and those things can be done in healthy ways if parents can help to channel that energy in positive ways.
• Parents should avoid comparing their children especially when the children are together.
• A parent should try to attend the activities of all the children.
• There are boundaries which should be understood by children, each time a child crosses that line, a parent should immediately take some action to avoid resentment.
When a sibling rivalry is created in a positive environment where your children are pushing each other to do well, growing and facing various fears, your family overall can have good family communication. Along with giving your family more fun and exciting things to do together, it could drastically allow the family to be that fortified place that every family member really wants.
Some people believe that sibling rivalry is normal and can actually help a child who has to learn to manage in a competitive world, it is not true instead parents should try to prevent such rivalry only through spreading positive vibes, they can foster a sense of love between siblings, create a team feeling of them being a special unit looking out for each other against the rest of the world, yes even against the parents.
Parenting with love and logic can help reduce sibling rivalry but will never end it completely.